I mapped out the Fort Myers Cemetery for my service learning project. At first, I just thought of it as an easy assignment but soon I found out that I was wrong. I found out a lot about myself when doing this project. At the first entrance to the cemetery I was thinking about why I chose this particular place for my service learning. The graveyard was not very pretty and it was located right behind public housing! There were ant piles everywhere and in some spots the ground sunk in. The above ground caskets had cracks in them which made them very creepy. I finally realized, after time, that uniqueness of this cemetery gave it character. The cemeteries I have been to have been maintained and well groomed. Most of the plots had nice potted flowers and the grounds looked neat and tidy. The Fort Myers Cemetery was the opposite. The ant hills, the disarray of the entire cemetery made me feel sad for the people buried there. The Fort Myers Cemetery did have all different types of people that were laid to rest there. The tombstones were dated from the 1800’s to just a couple of years ago. Every single one of those people had a story to tell and somehow you could see it on the tombstone. As I walked up and down the cemetery roads taking pictures of all the tombstones and seeing a little piece of each person it got me thinking how they all ended up here. We look at life with such hate and discrimination and judgment but once we are put to rest you never know who will be laid to rest in front of you, next to you or across from you.
I saw people that were laid to rest with their whole families from their great great grandfather to their aunt. I also saw people that were laid to rest with no family member in sight. There were tombstones with a cross on it as well as tombstones with KKK engraved on it. I saw graves of people who were WW1 veterans and of teenagers that fought in WW2 and died for their country. Two brothers were both killed in the service and they were buried next to each other knowing what they did was right. There is such a diversity of people that are there it is really cool to see all the culture that was around Fort Myers 200 years ago and what is still their today.
I saw a tombstone that reflected a birthday two years after the civil war started. It got me thinking on how their life was and what they went through. I saw a lot of tombstones that were in the 1800’s that the children died before the parents. I kept asking Rebecca isn’t this weird how a lot of the younger children are dead before their parents. She then reminded me what you (Dr. Wilkinson) said on your trip to downtown Fort Myers. Children in that time died because of the flu and small pox. It was so weird to see in person, what you were talking about.
I saw all different types of tombstones some relating to religion, some relating to the personal characteristic of that person, but the one thing that really stood out to me was that some didn’t have dates of their death. The tombstone was there with the name and birth date but the death date wasn’t there. It wasn’t like they were still alive for the fact that it was in the 1800’s. What could of happen? Did they forget to get buried there? Was their body lost? My mind keeps racing with all of these questions on why the death date was not on the tombstone. I don’t think it would have been a big deal if it was only on one or two of the tombstones but at least 30 tombstones didn’t have death dates on it! I have never heard of that in my life. I still can’t understand why they don’t have one.
Another thing that I found was interesting was people that already had their plot and tombstone picked out but they were still alive. There was one in particular that had a picture of a woman on it born in 1964 with no date of death and apparently she is still living, and it was right next to her husband who had died. I understand that she wanted to be next to her husband but why would you want your face on a tombstone that says “loving mother” when you’re not dead yet. There were a lot of things that I saw that I would never do. However, to each their own, who am I to judge how they want to live their eternal life or the rest of their existing life.
The major thing that really made me realize that I really cared for children was the fact that some of the infants that died within the same day as their birth date didn’t have names. This really got to me. Why in the world would a mother not want to name their child? They nurtured and carried that baby for 9 months and they couldn’t even name it? It just blew me away how some people could do that. This got me thinking and talking to Rebecca that was there with me. Her viewpoint was different. She did not see the big deal that the baby didn’t have a name. But I was really disturbed by this. Looking at a tombstone so small and knowing when going up to “heaven” that the baby would not have a name really unsettle me.
The tombstones would read baby and then the last name. The first one that I saw and really stuck with me was “baby funk”. That is what was on the baby’s tombstone. Another one read infant son of. I just feel that is not right. A baby should have a name and it should have its own identity. Now as these tombstones came around it really made me wonder why didn’t the mother name her child? Was it that she didn’t want to get close to it? I couldn’t tell you the answer. However, as I was walking around and really thinking about this it showed me that I have a passionate side for this and do not think it is right.
As I was talking to other people about this situation, I got all different types of answers. The usual answer was - why do you even care. Other answers were: I don’t know, it was her decision, but then one person said well some of the baby’s are wards of the state. Now, I knew none of the tombstones of the babies that I came around were wards of the state for the fact that they all had last names or were buried next to their parents. But that very next day when I went back to the graveyard I found a baby that was a ward of the state. The tombstone read Infant 1938. It broke my heart. No one buried next to it just lying peacefully in the ground without a mother or a father or even a name. How could a mother or father throw a child away and not even care to name it.
As I walked and saw more and more it unsettled me more and more. I felt that it would help me deal with it if I gave them names. Obviously this will have no effect on anything but in my mind they should be buried with names. So I all gave them names from Frank, Tom, Brain they all had a name and a place in my heart.
Overall the service learning really made me think in ways that I have never before. Seeing people’s tombstone really makes you question what did they do in life? Where they a good person? Going back, I am very happy that I did this as my project as it opened my eyes and let me into a whole another world that I was not aware of. But just in case you are wondering after spending time in the Fort Myers Cemetery I will be happily buried in a mausoleum where no bugs, ants, rust or dirt can get on me. J